The days feel longer

I've written a chapter of something that feels like a story but, not sure whether I want to post it up. Aside from that, I had my first cosplay shoot yesterday. It was a last minute planning from my friend but it worked out quite well I guess. But when I got back home, I felt so drained and feverish. I was in the most foul mood.

It isn't very good..but I guess it's a start? I'm still not sure how cosplay photography works. Lately, been trying to recuperate and spend some time alone. It's not that I don't like company but I've been quite sick the whole of today and sometimes, I like to sleep off the pain. I had a couple of rude awakenings from my family but nothing to drastic. I don't know the purpose of this post actually. 

Blogging

London. Looking at Big Ben, I can remember it's chiming. Such a blissful moment for me. It was my first time too. And once more, it feels like old London again. So vintage, preserved but most of all, beautiful. Can't believe this. Why is it my family has no sort of interest in this anymore? 

Though my main reason here is not to talk about Big Ben. I'm confused to what I should be doing right now. It's quite late now but somehow, sleep doesn't come so easily to me. I remember, being left alone..one day. By someone I used to love. 

Or perhaps, trust? It's sad cause we could no longer go back to that path. Even being friends, was difficult. It felt like a chore for the sake of my best friend. 

What it seemed like sweet love turned so bitter. I remember the months passing by and waiting for his call or even a note. 

Nothing.

Those weeks turn to months and the more I see him, the more we felt distant. After the long and painful wait, you decided to come back..and end it on bad terms. You told me that it was for the sake of your studies but in fact..you wanted to get away from me.

Thought I did move on but deep down, I was well hurt. 

Sigh.

Last stretch

I have incoherent posts for the past few weeks but mind you, I have been very busy. I guess, I'm not that kind of person who writes alot about life..? Or every little bit of what I do? The thought it is daunting but I really have nothing to show to be honest. 

Though I feel, through design and photography, I have a better grasp of things. I might need to start taking up that old film camera and work it. I really do love taking pictures. Even of my work. Perhaps I should show you my workplace? (Hell no.)

That aside, it's been almost...a gruelling week. There will be more pictures hopefully. In the mean time, I shall keep quiet. 

Forgotten

I've forgotten this space once more. I very much apologise for this. But then again, who really is reading this? *laughs* I've been rewatching my old childhood anime shows while doing work. It's relaxing and fun. Keeps my mind at ease actually.

But there's always this torn decision about my future.

I know...I should explore as much as I want.


Resorting to University would be the best choice for me.

But howw far can I go with it?

Perhaps, I might resume studying after work?

Masters? PhD?

All these confusions. Filling up my void.

And here I am.

Making stuffs I love.

To my man :)

Hello my man :)

You're 21 now, welcome to my club haha! I want to keep this short and sweet. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I hope you feel the same way too. You're stronger than you think you are, smarter, wiser and most of all the most loving. You really have been patient with my mood swings and nonsense; despite all that, you still cherish and love me.

And I will too.

Please don't ever doubt that.

Happy birthday and have a wonderful day ahead :3

With much love all the way from London!

Serena.

Admittance

I admit studying abroad is very hard. Nothing else I can add on that. But on a happier note, most of my friends have graduated from their diplomas and now currently working, looking for jobs or even starting up their own freelance workspace. I feel so ecstatic for them! It has been 3 years since we started the design path and they're already graduating. I had a few setbacks with my course but ultimately, I am very close into finishing my first year in degree.

I am excited but scared. Time passes so quickly and before you know it?! You're done with the first year. It's already April. Damn, how much longer?

....

hmmm.

I should start writing my essay now.

I have safely returned home. I feel a lot better now that I know that there's something for me to do this Easter. It gets my design nerves working. I feel so much at peace. It's great to see my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend picked me up from the airport and I always get this nervous feeling tied inside me after 7 months of not seeing him. Seeing him again set my heart so much at ease and soon we were doing all the things we love. 

I've been reading Designing Design by Kenya Hara and it's absolutely the most brilliant book I have ever read. I am thinking of ideas to work on my next project already! How crazy is that? 

I think this is what I really do love the most about designing. 

When you're not on dead pan pressure and you have control of everything.

Sounds amazing.

Today, I shall spent my day with a nice book, probably head for a nice drive as well (I miss driving) and gonna be waiting for that email from my lecturer.

Ah such is life. 

White space

There's quite a bit of white space.

Hahaha.

Nothing serious. I'm doing an experiment on white spaces. So yes, I shall get used to this. On another note, I have been considering about doing a self shoot. I've been busy. Sorry about that. But I'll soon return. For now, be captivated.

LATE CNY POST

So many things to blog about but I am at a loss of words! I just started my Project 4 and it's looking good so far! Though yesterday and half of today, I am planning out my storyboard for my presentation, updated my PDF with some new visuals and so much more to do! I am currently learning After Effects as well for my presentation. So far, it looks promising but I am still trying to learn :/

But just updates on my CNY! Really quick though :/

On the eve of CNY, I went out for dinner with my dearest flatmates for some nice traditional chinese food. It was scrumptious and filling. I can't believe none of them ever tried LOU SANG before! It was a historical/memorable moment for them and I sense more coming along the way now ;)

There's more to come on my first day of CNY which was so memorable I can cry :') And also on my Valentine's update but maybe once I'm done with my work for today, I might just carry on from here!

Cheers! xx

Paperman

I am proud that Disney was part of my childhood. Partly the reason why I fell in love with Disney is because of their moralistic animations with a hint of laughter, guffaws, sadness, anger, frustration but most of all, magic. There is always something about Disney that makes me laugh, that makes me cry, that makes me feel so much more connected to my inner child.

This short animation was shown before the movie of Wreck It Ralph and I fell in love with it. The story was simple but yet the animatics had such dynamics and core values. The rendering, the animated figures and I love it even more that it's black and white with only a hint of red for the lipstick! I hope one day, I will be able to show my children, my little cousins and what not this beautiful piece that would be passed down for generations :)

I am feeling a little more positive about my project.

I just need to get down to it!

xx

Pam!

Hiya guys. Sorry about the very emotional posts. Been through some really bad waves and tides but I'll get through. For now, this is a happy picture of me! Was taken at college, at my new hideout place. It's a nice place to calm your thoughts and work your way through. I definitely need a time off. Can't wait to blog about my free movie experience! :)

Note: I really didn't realise my hair was THAT blonde! So amazed! I had a good hair day :D And yes my hair is growing. It's really much longer now :D

Sometimes, I want to cry and huddle in a corner. I just really wish I could ignore the sounds of the overwhelming pain and sadness. They say that I was given this life because I was strong enough to live it. I really seriously doubt that at times. I don't feel any better. I don't feel as if I have achieved anything.  Or at least..I don't know what I'm doing.

I think..I really need to step up and start taking the scene.

I used to think that, I'm better with talking right now.





Guess I'm not after all. 

Regardless

My results for the first term were surprisingly good. I really thought I wasn't going to do well but I am quite pleased with the results. There is definitely room for improvement. I am learning to become a better graphic designer. It's really helping me to shape my thinking towards green thinking and sustainability. So far, it's been getting busy but I'm taking a short break from work to write this out. My brain is currently not working at a fast pace! I need to work more. I spent the day trying to figure out my theme and persona which I have at last. Sort of but it still needs more to work on! Though, I am still currently thinking about how can I appeal to them. 

Anyways, I'm still working on it. 

Need to stay positive and calm!

No pictures for the day sadly but well, there's lots to do. xx

Give me;

Give me the wisdom, strength and energy to fight this battle. I cannot win this battle on my own.

I am motivated but at the same time, I want to not overstress myself. I'm going through such a tide now, I find it so difficult to breathe. But I know I can do this. I have go to try at least to make it work. At least to try and understand and think clearly. 

But man, I think I might just like break one of these days.

The Fault in Our Stars

The moment I finished reading the book, I sat on my bed in awe and tears started to form. Sooner or later, I was crying a river. I didn't think such a simple yet heartwarming book could make me cry. It reminded me of Mitch Albom all over again. But John Green is definitely on my favourite author list. There is no doubt about that. Fancy vocabulary cannot describe how beautiful the book is written. It was a simple book. No complications about that. There was no awkward linear chronology plot. It was just a book.

I didn't ever think it was going to had a lot of impact in me. This unprecedented feeling.

I think I might take time to recollect and compose myself after this. I didn't cry a lot but after reading, it left me feeling bitter and so shit about life. How could you be so cruel at times? Turning to that last page, it just left me speechless. Like that's it? That's how it's going to be?

My words would do no justice to this book but as far as words can describe this book: astounding, aspiring and humour. It is like what Jodi Picoult (another favourite author of mine) had said: It's just filled with staccato bursts of humour and tragedy. I would not dare to rate this book as well, I don't find ratings doing any justice to any sort of book but if I must say, it is definitely a recommended read.

I am planning to get his other novels and read them as well. Will be searching for his other novels tomorrow if I'm in luck.

For now, I think I shall end this post with a sweet goodbye. xx

1st week done

I made it through the first week gruelingly. Well I can break down the days but there isn't much except maybe yesterday, today and on Tuesday. As you know, I'm back in college and I am suffering massive holiday ache. But alas, I must work to live on! It's an inevitable truth and life of a designer. What a perpetual routine. I do enjoy working again though the research this term is immense. I'm feeling the stress but I'll get there soon enough.

Anyways, yesterday I met up with my best friend and this surge of nostalgia wept through. My best friend since 13! I really don't know what I'll ever do without her. Looking back, we really had come a long way! I'm not sure how to feel at this point. It sounds putrid I know but I do feel kind of ancient! Well that's a lie, we meet at 2005 but it's been 9 years since we've kept in touch.

Wow.

And to think, another year more: it will be a decade!

That's terrifying.

But it's worth every memory.

To many more years of us! xx

Cargo Collective

It's still in the midst of regeneration but I'm finally opening up a temporary portfolio website! :D

Serenays.

Special thanks to Cargo collective for the amazing layout.

I think, I'll let the website do the talking. I don't have much time to blog now since I need to start working on my stuff! For the time being, it's overwhelming. So much to do yet so little time. Not to mention there's also CTS and an upcoming project in about 5 weeks time. I will do my best!

tata. xx

UNI again

My last day of my christmas break was well spent at home, lounging around, looking through emails, preparing myself for tomorrow. I'm quite optimistic about tomorrow but I am not trying to heighten up my expectations. I am going to bring out the best in me and strive through the projects. Aside from that, I'm still designing my CV but I will need the help of the print making room to fulfill that bit. I'm going to be printing lots of copies and I intend not to waste my money by computer printing it. It's tough but I think I can manage. I am also trying to relearn all the codes so that I can start building a website.

The time being, I need to start a temporary website.

Anyhoos, NEW YEAR! :D I helped my boyfriend with his resume as well and it looks good. So proud of him. I was quite overwhelmed last year with the lack of structure and it didn't settle well with me. It was rancorous and it left me quite disappointed. The lecturers were amazing and inspiring yet the structure fell short. I do hope it will be better this year.

I don't think I have much pictures to share because I've been spending my time watching my favourite anime: Rurouni Kenshin. It's been AGES and I still fall in love with the anime all over again. It's just such an inspiring animation and the music is great. All this nostalgia! It happened right after I watched Rurouni Kenshin the movie.

I admit this anime is old but I honestly think it's the best I've seen. Okay I admit it's tied between Saiyuki and a few others but it's my childhood :) I am so glad I am able to relieve them all again. I'm such an anime geek.

       

Can you guess these three anime? :)

xx

2013.

Another year.

The number 3 surfaces, taking its place as the number two moves down the calendar - declaring it as the past - What a great way to start the year. With a pleasant view of the fireworks from my balcony, sipping on wine and gathering with friends. The night sky was scattered with spectrums of exploding fireworks from every corner of the world. The thin stretch of horizon was blossoming away with its spectacular fire petals that illuminated the night sky. Lanterns were aimlessly wandering in the skies, carrying the many wishes, dreams and hopes of one.

That's how I would describe New Years really. I have well my resolutions. Aside from the basic stereotypical resolutions like, losing weight, doing well for my design studies and to be a little more aggressive with my working attitude. (which all above is true); I do want to learn to appreciate and love more. I do want to create beautiful designs not just for the sake of it but with compassion and integrity. But most of all, to be kinder, gentler and adventurous.

Welcome 2013.

Friends of the night; 

It was freezing outside between. Note the people wearing jackets.

And I bid farewell, to a wonderful year. Sealing another chapter and another new beginning.