As I promise

I was feeling pretty nostalgic today so taking my 450D out for a nice walk and exercise, I took some interesting pictures. It was pretty nostalgic. Because I had my camera since I was 16, my very first DSLR camera and I'm 19 now :) That's 4 years of being in service. My camera's name: Damien. We had a new recent addition to the family and it's his sister, Jean. I mean though 600D is good doesn't mean I'm gonna leave Damien alone. Damien is like my right hand man. I know I sound weird talking about my camera but it's true.

It's not selling in the market anymore but to me, I still love it. And I'm still amazed at how he still can work so well. I took some extremely lovely shots. I thought they were really good. I need to brush up on my skills! I think I'm getting better but there's always room for improvement. I really want to start college now. I don't care man, I really want to.



I was just feeling really nostalgic. The edits were much softer. I like this composition.




This one seems mysterious. I'm just loving the sunlight. Strangely.




People ask me why I take random pictures of leaves instead of other things. And I tell them.


Why not?




I love this. I didn't use macro for this! Just standard lens :D




Something about this picture, captures me. It feels very surreal. I'm always a shell person and recently, I've been trying to break out of it. Maybe it's a sign?


As you can see, I am in love with bokeh. This reminds me of the a quiet and blissful night, and you can see thousand eyes looking at you from above. Thousand eyes, stars. I just love the feel of the picture.




I've been playing with sunlight a lot recently. I don't know but every night, when I sleep, I start crying. No really, I start crying over the weirdest things. And everytime I cry, I picture a sunlight coming through, and somehow, it made me feel better.




Just like this.




And like this.




Feels out of reach but I'm trying to do my best at the current moment. I may look strong and you know unreachable. But I really feel frail inside.




I know I'm never alone and I know I have great things coming. But I have this feeling that it'll just fade away and never come back. Sometimes I really doubt of my photography skills but I tell myself, I'm always better than before.

I don't know, sometimes I don't know whether I want to take photography.

And everytime I can't get the feel of my shots, I feel miserable.

It's like I lost a part of me.

That's how I feel. But looking at these pictures, I know I can do it. I'll just have to find a reason to live and a reason to start believing again.